So I’ve spoken with and surveyed enough of my readers and students to know that about 50% of them, both managers and artists, have a crippling fear of being rejected. A fear that stops them from asking for things they want, or a fear that stops them from going after and doing things that they want. It stops them from doing things like contacting gatekeepers they want to work with, or creating something and putting it out into the world at all.
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If this at all sounds like you, I want you to know that you’re not alone, and that it’s all going to be ok. Because here’s the thing: if you’re putting yourself out there in ANY capacity, you’re GOING to get rejected. If you’re putting your art out there, or the art of the artists you manage out there, or you’re working in the music industry in general, you’re GOING to get rejected. The solution is NOT to avoid getting rejected, it’s to learn how to navigate the feelings that go along with being rejected. So, in this training I want to talk about a few ways you can learn to handle it better, through a few things I’ve learned and overcome on my journey.
Firstly, you need to address your confidence in yourself. I believe once you’ve addressed any confidence issues you might have, it’ll help to naturally handle any failure or rejection you come across. Confidence is a skill that can be learned and perfected even if you weren’t born with it or aren’t feeling confident right now. If you feel like you could use a boost in your confidence right now, I want you to do these 4 things.
If you feel super confident right now and don’t give a crap a building your confidence, I STILL want you to do these 4 things.
- Write down a list of everything you’re proud of
- Write down a list of all your skills – and not just music or business related write down literally everything.
- Write down a list of 3 things you can change in your BEHAVIOUR to influence your confidence from the outside-in. Why? Because confidence can come from the external behaviors, which then effect internal feelings. It can be something so small like dressing better, putting on some makeup, or speaking with more certainty.
- Get to work on bringing all those things into your life on a daily basis. Turn your proud moments, your top skills, and confidence-building behaviours into a TO DO list.
Think: how can I bring these things into or back into my daily life, even if in baby steps? Because when you’re confident and something doesn’t work, you don’t just keep praying that everything will go perfectly. You don’t pray for less rejection. You just tell yourself “that’s fine, I’ll just move onto the next one. I don’t see rejection as failure. I see it as learning”. Feel the fear, learn from your mistakes, and do better next time.
Set Yourself Up For Rejection
The second tip I have for you is a huge part to being better at handling rejection, and it is to BE REJECTED, and KNOW it’s coming. The more you’re rejected, the better you’ll be at handling it. And the more you can expect to be rejected beforehand, the easier it is to hear when the time comes. So I’m here to tell you: not everyone is going to accept you. Not everyone is going to like you. Not everyone is going to like your artists’ music and some may hate it. You will be rejected. You will be disappointed. You will hear the word NO a lot. And that’s ok. Holding grudges against gatekeepers or fans who turn you away or reject you, and then taking no action at all, won’t help your business and it won’t help the artists you manage and it won’t help you get stronger.
So I want you to do something today that will take you one step closer to acting on something you’ve been fearing, especially if it relates to fear of rejection. Or go do something that you 100% know will result in rejection, just so you can purposely feel the pain and move past it. Either way, just know ahead of time, that if you get rejected, IT’S OKAY and tell yourself “that’s fine! On to the next one!”
Trust the process
I’m a strong believer that everything happens for a reason, and that reason is to teach you something or to bring you something better down the line. So if you’re being rejected, just know that it’s the universe working in your favour, and that it wasn’t meant to be this time around. The universe is protecting you from something. So if you attempt to get signed at a certain label and they reject you, believe that it wasn’t meant to be and something better will come along later.
I’d like to leave you with a quote from Jim Rohn (one of my favourite quotes of all time). Jim Rohn is Tony Robbins’ original mentor. And if you don’t know who Tony Robbins is, I ask that you stop living under a rock and YouTube him. Jim Rohn says:
“Don’t wish it was easier, wish you were better.
Don’t wish for less problems, wish for more skills.
Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
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